before I go any further, I must confess...

the substack emails I open most are essays, not serial chapters

Have you heard of the sunk-cost fallacy?

It’s a phenomenon that describes the people who are reluctant to give up on a course of action that they’ve started simply because they have already invested heavily into it. That could be an investment of time, money, effort, or attention.

For example, an ADHD coach and writer who declares that she will publish her non-fiction book chapter by chapter then quickly realises that if she does this her manuscript could not be accepted by literary agents or some publishers…

It’s me! Hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.

In the past, I would have fallen victim to the sunk-cost fallacy but since coaching hundreds of adults how to rewrite their shame stories and challenge their automatic negative thoughts, I’ve discovered that no one actually cares how many times you fail.

Honestly, once you start gathering the evidence that proves this is true, that the people in your life and your online communities are more invested in their own lives - you almost become immune to failure. So, I’ve decided that instead of chapters, I want to publish delightfully random rants on topics relating to ADHD.

It’s a relief to know that we can challenge our shame stories, like:

“I can’t stop something until I have finished it.”
Wrong.

“I can’t leave a career because I spent four years studying it at university.” Incorrect.

“I can’t start again whenever I want.”
Untrue.

Now, granted I say this with all the socio-economic privilege of a white middle class woman in her 30’s with a strong support network. I do believe that (given the right opportunity and circumstance) we can stop, leave, and start again as many times as is needed. The shame stories around *InCoNSiStEnCY* and *UnReLiaBiLiTy* are leftover from childhood and young adulthood. We can put those down now.

It’s almost September, which means:

I promised myself at the start of the year that I would submit queries for the book I’ve been writing to a select group of literary agents who fit with my vibe and values. But enough talk of the book, all this to say - I’ll be writing you an essay on Sunday rather than a chapter.

If you have any words of encouragement or tips for a first time ADHD author, my heart and mind are completely open to reading them! Thank you for allowing me to fail and find my way.

Sending curiosity and compassion,

Ceri Sandford
ADHD Compassion Coach