This is a curation of what brought joy to my life this month. If you’re a highly sensitive person, it’s likely that the world can feel heavy. The art of tuning into and taking time to notice small moments of joy is a privilege, but also a necessity.
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welcome
Through these neurodivergent love letters, I want you to see how I experience the world and support myself as an AuDHD adult who has:
intense emotional capacity, depth, and empathy for all living things
frequent hyper-focus fuelled interests clambering for her attention
awe-induced appreciation of nature and curiosity for how the world works
and an utterly overwhelming level of sensory input for most of her senses
Perhaps these articles will be a mirror to your own chaos and imperfection. If you do feel inspired, start your own joy journal. Simple is best. Take a photo. Done! Write in your notes app. Boom! Dig out one of the abandoned journals you never started. Oh, hell yeah! Make space for potential everyday magic and whimsy.
Fast forward 11 minutes into this video to witness intense joy through my eyes.
the subtle art of noticing whatever brings you joy
My intention is for you to reconnect with the unfiltered neurodivergent joy that has been shamed out of you, hidden under a mask because it’s seen as too weird or too raw for others to witness. A display of unrefined happiness. Society with all of its made up rules about maturity and acting like a responsible adult; as though we can’t (or shouldn’t) experience joy in the same way a child does because… why?
Consider this your invitation to reject idea of there ever being one “right way” to be an adult by leaning into novelty, fun, and play at any age. I’ll meet you back here each month, with a new collection of tools in tow.
fun experiments to try
captivating books to read
helpful apps to download
calming music to play
crafty hobbies to explore
Although JOY JOURNAL ISSUE #1 will be accessible for everyone - it takes time and effort to create so if you enjoy reading, I hope you’ll consider signing up as a subscriber for $8 a month or go all in with 10% off the annual subscription.
I’ve been squirrelling away every Monday and Tuesday to write the absolute best book proposal so I can land my dream literary agent and aligned publisher. Every subscriber is proof that this book is needed and helps me have more time to write it. Bonus, you’ll receive full access to all my paywalled articles featuring swearing and oversharing about life as late diagnosed neurodivergent adults.
debating and dissecting my joy: nature vs nurture
For those wondering how I’ve created a joy-filled life, allow me to get a little introspective and break down the person behind the publication.
I love your energy, passion, and enthusiasm; how much joy you get from the little things; your outlook and approach to life.
Since childhood, I’ve been bombarded with lovely observations like these. From strangers online and in real life, as well as repeatedly in every relationship, friendship, classroom, and workplace. Reading my coaching client testimonials, cards from parents of children I once taught, and social media comment sections is a genuine delight. Without exaggeration, I’ve received compliments like these thousands of times from different people of all ages, spanning over the last two and a bit decades…
It makes you wonder, what makes someone magnetic, charismatic, charming? Those are all their words, not mine. I feel like a bit of a wanker even putting this in writing, but it’s always fascinated me on a sociological level to hypothesise why do so many people notice my “infectious energy”.
If you’ve experienced this phenomenon as well, I’d love to read your theories in the comments below…
Mine include being the youngest of four and fighting to be heard, using humour to deflect any bullying as I was the shortest girl in my grade, constantly starting over as the new kid at new schools and holiday camps, developing confidence in performing arts and from a love of acting, and potentially, an additional nature vs nurture argument: acknowledging that I’ve always been extroverted and that all of my siblings are introverted extroverts who grew up with assertive parents who modelled strong social skills during our childhood.
I mean, could my bright and bubbly personality have simply served and developed as a survival mechanism?
Before 25, I felt like a fraud when given these kind of compliments because I knew the extent of my mental health struggles that were once hidden behind closed doors. But now, after years of therapy and newly acquired self-acceptance, I believe it could be a combination of everything above, mashed together with the unfiltered neurodivergent joy. My neurotype, with all it’s struggles, also came with the gift to experience everything through a lens of intense appreciation and authentic gratitude.
Maybe that’s the energy that others find uplifting, inspiring, and infectious…
playing a game to challenge your automatic negative thoughts
🐜 ANT, this is a favourite visual acronym of mine for a reason. Challenging these f*ckers can change the entire trajectory of your day.
Imagine you wake up and look outside, seeing nothing but grey clouds and specks of rain all over your foggy bedroom window. It’s valid to think ughhh, miserable weather… but perspective is a beautiful thing.
Understanding and acknowledging that we are all biologically programmed as humans to instantly identify problems, allows us the chance to intentionally redirect our attention and reframe our observations. Think of it like playing a game of ‘positive association’.
For example, instead of focusing on everything that sucks about wet weather, we can shift into joy by identifying how this could give us an opportunity to move through our day differently? Rain means comfortable gumboots, cosy fireplaces, calming sounds, warm soup, colourful jackets, and big smiles when you rush through the door of your home to escape the cold.
See what I mean?
Let’s play again. What’s something crap that comes to mind? Cleaning? The dishes. Ugh, they’re the worst AND they’re every frickin’ day. What’s that about? It’s no wonder our negativity bias goes straight to focusing on how much time and effort is going to be required to wash every item stacked by the sink…
My joy journal is always full of music.
Yours might be different. Sounds have a magical effect on my mind, including the voices and conversations that spark my imagination. Instead of getting stuck on how truly disgusting it will feel when the residual food that’s clinging onto each plate collides with hot, soapy water…
Dishes mean that I get to listen to my favourite podcasts and playlists:
Films To Be Buried With hosted by Brett Goldstein. Wild Geese with
. The Unpublished Podcast with and . Not in the mood for conversations about film, philosophy, or creativity? Press play on the recent Hottest 100 Australian Songs from Triple J or dance with your wet cloth to the immaculate soundtrack from my favourite 1996 film, Matilda.Heck, I’ve heard Embrace Your ADHD Chaos is a banger podcast too.
a fun experiment to lower the bar of entry
Don’t put the pressure on yourself to “experience joy”. Focus on the environment rather than the emotion. Think of it like a wild animal. Joy isn’t something to be captured, but it is possible to coax it closer with a few well-placed breadcrumbs…
I can’t plan for it, but I can create conditions conducive of the feeling. That’s why I leave space in my week for spontaneous adventures. Like an intuitive calling to go inside a bookshop or grab my swimmers for a random mid-week swim. The last-minute solo coffee dates or walks with a friend. Driving without knowing anything but the name of a nearby town. It’s the unknown possibility of it all. My joy is often the result of following an impulsive idea without judgement.
Unsure where to start? Treat yourself like a dog. They can’t talk. We have to figure out what they need. Apply that to yourself. Throw some supportive spaghetti at the wall and see what works. Create the conditions. That’s why curious questions and playful experiments are so helpful for neurodivergent adults, especially if you’re lacking interoceptive awareness. Start with a solid base by checking your basic needs. Give yourself a protein-rich snack. Drink water. Say kind things. Comfort or reassure yourself. Move to a safe, low-stimulating space.
Take yourself on a dang adventure.
helpful questions to noodle on in your joy journal
How can I reconnect with my definition of ‘joy’ each day? What were simple moments that brightened my week? Where am I or what am I doing when my chest feels like it can’t contain the happiness I’m currently feeling?
And if nobody has bloody told you lately, you are perfectly imperfect.
Sending you so much compassion,
Ceri Sandford
ADHD Compassion Coach
PS: A note on privilege. Without the support of my family in my mid-twenties, I may never have reached a place where I could begin this journey; without the unconditional love of my husband in my late-twenties, I may never have followed my business dreams, where I’ve found creative and financial freedom from the 9-5; and finally, without my online communities, I may never have been able to access the neuroaffirming therapy that has allowed me to heal from years of shame, guilt, judgement, and criticism.
