the chaotic reality of a hyperactive mind
a mixture of frantic and fulfilled
These three lines from the adult diagnostic test have been unforgettably relatable.
How often do you feel overly active and compelled to do things, like you were driven by a motor? Very often. How often do you feel restless? Very often. How often do you have difficulty unwinding and relaxing? Uh, always. I mean, very often.
Workaholism and ADHD
In a capitalist society, feeling compelled to work is a glorified trait that is rewarded with job security or promotions. As a student and teacher, I had naively believed that my overly active mind and constant drive were both signs that I was a “go getter” and “over-achiever”.
I had never even considered ADHD until that fateful appointment in 2020.
Nowadays, I embrace (and recommend) an intentional rebellion against the capitalist machine every time you’re feeling overworked and overwhelmed. Rather than pushing yourself to try harder, work longer, and do more, more, more - you do the opposite and slow down. Rather than fuelling the chaos, you snuff it out.
Do less.
Take breaks.
Slow right down.
It’s uncomfortable but necessary.
ADHD comes with countless contradictions, with every delightful strength having an equally frustrating struggle. This is why I firmly reject the concept of claiming my own neurodivergence as a “superpower”. Instead, I can acknowledge that:
My intense imagination has brought to life a dream business… but it has also left me feeling utterly exhausted from constantly thinking, wondering, researching, and ideating. Lying down with my eyes closed in silence is still mentally noisy.
My passion and enthusiasm that is responsible for every new creative project has meant that I have taken action on A LOT of ideas… but it has also cost a lot of time and energy to manage those ideas as they pile up on top of one another.
My love of variety and novelty has meant that I can adapt to change quickly and embrace new systems… but it has also been linked to the hopping between many different hyper-fixations, leaving a trail of abandoned hobbies behind.
Both can be true.
So, the next time you’re criticising yourself for overthinking, focus on how this busy brain of yours has also been an essential part of your story and journey.
Does your brain have too many tabs open?
I mean, if the clichéd shoe fits.
I currently have 19 tabs open on my computer and 500 on my phone.
I have 2,677 notes on my iPhone, and create 3-4 new ones each day.
My storage is painfully overflowing with more than 57,000 screenshots.
BUT, my brain also has 10+ notebooks that it can dump all the thoughts, feelings, worries, and ideas into specifically so that it DOESN’T have to keep so many mental tabs open. My phone is reducing my cognitive load by holding all that information.
Consider your cognitive load right now? How full is your mind? I want you to start externalising and decluttering all the information that is competing for your attention.
Fill journals. Fill your notes app. Fill your calendar.
Just get it out. You’ll feel lighter once that book snaps shut or app disappears.