vulnerable post - writing my compassion guide for late diagnosed ADHD adults, chapter by chapter

Helping you to ride your rollercoaster of differences, rather than resent them.

Hello friends,

You might have found your way here from my email list, TikTok, or Instagram. Heck, maybe you stumbled upon me randomly online through a recommendation or reshare. Whatever brought you here, can I just say how glad I am that you’re reading this and that I’m not writing to an empty void?

As an ADHDer, I thrive off interaction, connection, and feedback.

These are sorely lacking in the traditional writing process. By publishing my writing to this community of readers, it will create the most magical little dopamine loop in my brain that says “write more, write more” and you’ll be giving me the greatest gift of all:

To feel seen, heard, and validated.

In return, I’ll be sharing all of the quirky concepts and creative tools that I’ve designed to support my ADHD compassion coaching clients. For example, the compassion comeback strategy to challenge your harshest inner-critic comments or the dopamine disruption technique intended to battle against the debilitating shame spirals. More on these in the upcoming chapters…

First, my book’s opening dedication:

For those of us who lived a life with an ADHD sized hole in their heart. For those of us who couldn’t understand why they found easy things hard and hard things easy. For those of us who had mistaken invisible challenges for personal flaws. You don’t need fixing. You never did. None of us are (or ever were) broken.

🎢 WHY THE ROLLERCOASTER?

You’re officially my accountability buddies - and I’m your compassion coach. This is a classic case of seeking out the fun, urgency, novelty, challenge, collaboration, and interest that is needed to keep my fingers tapping away on the keyboard. Your subscriptions will become my writing fuel, as you may know, our interest-based nervous systems desire any concept that screams “OH, SHINY!”.

Strap yourself in!

This internal (and sometimes external) chaos is something that we have carried with us through childhood into adulthood. Every day, we wake up to ride the fluctuating levels of our energy, emotions, and motivation. I’m yet to find an analogy more perfect, with rollercoasters taking scary dips, frustrating bumps, thrilling climbs, and unexpected turns.

We can’t plan far in advance because we cannot see around the corner.

[TL;DR watch the video above. Excuse the captions, they were auto-generated.]

🎢 WHAT’S THE PLAN?

I want to welcome you to jump on onboard for my writing project, as I publish each chapter, guiding you towards a more compassionate mindset. I can promise you that whatever plan I propose now will inevitably change in the coming months - so let’s just ride these first few months without any intense unnecessary expectations.

I’ll write. You’ll read. We’ll go from there.

You know, as an ADHD adult and coach, I’ve come to realise that my consistent inconsistency isn’t “wrong” or “flawed”. It’s simply one way of existing in the world. If you start to challenge the concept of “normal”, then you may also begin to feel this way about your own individual and unique traits.

Don’t be afraid of losing people. Be afraid of losing ourself by trying to please everyone around you. Allow yourself to have ADHD-related difficulties and needs.

To create a genuinely safe space, I would like this to be a community experience where oversharing is welcome, a space for both of our voices to be heard. I’ll read every comment and do my best to manage any perceived rejection that could pop up. After sharing all of the chapters, maybe I plan to edit and release - and maybe I don’t.

Let’s start by starting, eh?

🎢 THE CHAPTERS WILL BE RELEASED IN FIVE SECTIONS:

1. Exploring Your ADHD Differences

2. Acknowledging Your ADHD Differences

3. Allowing Your ADHD Differences

4. Accepting Your ADHD Differences

5. Embracing Your ADHD Differences

My book’s promise is to guide you on a practical path towards a more compassionate lifestyle that honours your individual needs and neurotype without shame or judgement. It’s what I needed after receiving a diagnosis that validated decades of internal struggles.

This is for the ADHDer who can’t finish a book because - time, focus, memory. We are discovering answers, chapter by chapter, together. And you know what, it feels frickin’ scary to share this with you - for many reasons. What if no one cares? What if readers hate it? I could let myself get stuck on all the reasons that this would fail and convince myself not to make this first post… or I could embrace the opposite thoughts:

What if this went well?

What if readers loved it?

What if you helped someone love their differences?

What if you connected with even more wonderfully chaotic ADHD adults?

What if ADHD readers are all over SubStack, waiting for a project like this one?

What if doing things a little differently is exactly what they need?

If you’re open to it, here are a few ways to support my SubStack journey:

• Become a Founding Member: This will be an option when you subscribe and it will be the option that probably makes me happy cry. No pressure, just being honest. Please only select this if it’s financially accessible right now.

• Become a Monthly Subscriber: You know what’s great for a person who has built a business online? Monthly support. You wouldn’t believe the difference that this makes in fuelling both my creativity and sense of safety. The appreciation level for ALL subscribers is going to be monu-frickin-mental.

• Gift a Subscription to an ADHDer You Love: Well, this is a bit cute. I can only imagine how thoughtful and validating that person will feel, knowing that you not only recommended this because you care - but you gifted the whole shebang.

• Free Monthly Subscription: There are countless personal reasons that people sign up as free subscribers, but please know that you’re welcome and valued too. Maybe you’ll even buy me a coffee one day or chuck a reshare online, if inspired!

Sending you love and wonder,

Ceri Sandford

ADHD Compassion Coach